Today, I just want to briefly (te he… you'll see why I'm giggling in a second) discuss shorts. Jorts, to be more specific. And to narrow it down even more, what I really want to get into talking about are the jorts that are currently getting a lot of loving from festival goers.
You know. The really short ones. The ones that are all destroyed. They sound trashy, but look really cute in a lot of festival fashion photos, like this one or this one, and so, after a long Pinterest binge, you decide to take the plunge and order a pair. You anxiously await their arrival, because you want to look just like the uber chic girls on Instagram and when your shorts arrive, you're thrilled. And puzzled.
You're usually a small, but you figured that since the shorts were super tiny, you'd order a medium. Just to be on the safe side. But when you put your jorts on, you can barely pull them up over your bum. And then you notice that the button holes haven't been cut. Were they meant to be this way? You consult the link you ordered them from. There is no information, so you cut the button holes open so you can actually button your jorts.
Once they're on, you admire how adorable you look… from the front… but you feel a cool breeze… and then you turn around.
The sun is out, but a full moon is rising. These puppies barely cover your tush and you go through a quick mental debate… "Do I go out in public like this? The girls on Tumbler did. Were their booties exposed? Is this a trend that I'm not aware of? I mean, it's kind of like wearing bikini bottoms… right? So I really could wear these out… in front of other people…"
And then you try it. You just wander outside near your house, just as a little test drive.
… but then you decide that as much as you love these shorts from the front, maybe this trend is one left to the festival pros… the ones who are smart enough to pair their super short shorts with a super long flowy kimono… or the ones who are just too tripped out on various substances to care…