My dear friends, moving day has come.
I've had lots of people approach/text/message/email/comment to me lately that they admire the way that I can just pick up and leave where I am to experience something new and that they're amazed that I always find a way to make things work in my new place.
What I've realized is that I'm on an orbit. My home base is the town in which I grew up. When I graduated high school, I couldn't wait to get away. I went to college and only returned home on breaks. After college, I moved back into my house, but only lasted a few months before moving to Manhattan. I lasted a whopping 4 months in the Big Apple and went right back home, where I stayed for several years. I almost moved to Korea to teach English once I finished grad school, but it fell through and I had to stay. And then I went to Germany, but living overseas after surgery wasn't working, so I had to return home again.
I've been home for just under 7 months and as I write this, I'm waiting for my family members to come home so we can hop in the car and hit the road to Vegas and I feel the need to document this because everyone who has talked to me about how wild and free I am doesn't seem to realize that I'm bloody terrified every time I leave this place!
In the days leading up to any of my big moves, my appetite wanes, I don't sleep much, and I start to question what I'm doing. Is this job the best job? Will I be good at it? Will I like where I'm living? Will I be able to make friends? What happens if I'm awful at my job and don't meet anyone and am alone? How long will I last? Will people think I'm a failure if I only make it for a few months? How am I going to justify my poor judgement/the cost of moving/the time I've wasted?
Simply put, the answer is: I don't know.
All I know is that while I'm on an orbit with the world and the town I grew up with, I am continually on the search for opportunities. My life path hasn't been a straight line, though I've never ended up in a position where I'm jobless or destitute or anything. I'm always trying to find my niche. I've found it before and then I've grown in ways that moved me out of that niche, and so I've had to look for a new path.
I don't have a clue what to expect from this move. I just know that I want to be good at what I do, I want to find happiness, and I want to continue to grow.
What's sustainable about this outfit?
: the dress is organic, handmade, and fair trade
: the necklace is handmade
: the earrings and ring are handmade